I’m baaaack…

Well. Will you lookie there. A blog. It’s been…well…how long HAS it been since I got one of these things out there? A while, that’s for sure. Sorry about that. Things have been so insane and difficult and challenging and tough and I just can’t get done everything I used to. I am *hoping* to go back to weekly blog posts and I *plan* to have them back on Thursdays, like they were in the beginning. I find myself craving and desperately wanting things to be “like they were before” lately and this seems like a relatively easy one. Not easy easy but relatively so.

So. What has been going on in the life of Kati and the Carlos and the chickens and Lavender Lemonade and that cute cat and the garden and all of that stuff? What HASN’T been going on with those things!?! Also, I want to warn you that I have of late felt even more scattered in my thinking and my writing than I was this time last year. I also appear to have really upped my love for parentheses.

First, Lemonade and Farmer’s Markets. I feel like I should close off last year and the experiment of starting my own business (though not the business itself!) by telling you how it went (financially and by other solid measures. We had a basic idea of how it went in such markers as how I felt and how many people like me already!)

When I did my taxes this year, I added up all my ins and outs from the business (that’s how taxes work sorta!) In the end, I brought in about $1,100 and spent about $1,000. Add on the taxes I paid and last year’s money was a bit of a loss (but much better than it could have been! Also remember, most (or all) of the income came to me and most of the output came from my mom.) So year one was a learning experience, not a great money-making enterprise. But what an experience! I loved most of it so much, and the parts I didn’t love I didn’t hate. We should totally do it again. Should we do it Summer 2015? I don’t know. I still feel a little exhausted from the adventures of Summer 2014. Maybe we should take a year off, or maybe do a little less. We’ll think about it. Make a decision a little closer to the time. (That was my thought process even before taxes and an answer to the “how much did I make” question. Say late Fall, early Winter.)

And then everything changed. Everything. You know how people tell you that having a child changes everything? (Don’t worry. I would have TOTALLY told you guys if I was having a child. Just wait a second.) I’m sure that’s true. I’m sure it does change everything. You know what else changes everything? Getting a child. Or children.

I have to take a second and tell you my favorite story about our sudden change in circumstances. I called a friend (Amanda in particular who has been an amazingly huge support of me and my stuff over the last couple of years in particular) to explain why we couldn’t attend her husband’s birthday party. I said “We can’t come on Saturday because we got kids.” She asked for clarification: did we get small humans or baby goats. She knows us well I think!

On Christmas Eve of last year, Carlos’s brother and his girlfriend lost their children. CPS (Child Protective Services) took them and placed them into foster care. There was a meeting of interested parties the following week and, long story short, Carlos and I got the children. Monty was 4 and a half at the time and Safi (short for Saphire [sic.]) was 10 months. They came to us on January 6 and we have had them ever since.

This whole situation is part of why I haven’t been blogging much (or at least an easy excuse!) Pretty much our entire world is wrapped up in raising these two children and all resulting changes in our situation. Even when not dealing with the kids directly, there’s dealing with the state and each other and family. And I am going to be brutally honest here. This is really fucking hard. There. I said it. Really fucking hard. And I am not sure how to talk about some of it here in this blog. There are legal and ethical and family issues that we deal with on a daily basis and I get frustrated and would love to sound off here in my blog about it, but I am leery of some of what I think I would say if I just cut loose. I don’t want to go insane explaining everything. I don’t want to spend all my time bad talking people or gossiping or complaining. It is really fucking hard and I don’t know what to talk about and what not to (which has actually been a problem for me in one form or another my whole life!)

So I will do my best. This is not going to be the same blog about Farmer’s Markets and Lavender Lemonade anymore (although was it ever, really? You guys HAVE been my counselors on things before when I lost my shit explaining things. Maybe this isn’t going to be so different after all…) Lemonade is on hold for the foreseeable future. I cannot work 40 hours a week, help with childcare and dinner and caring for the other people in the house (yes, you read that right. People. Our numbers have grown not just by the addition of two non-goat kids.) and then spend four hours on Saturday making and all day Sunday selling Lemonade and Ginger Tea. As much as I may want to. Next summer maybe. Holiday bazaars probably not. Right now no.

I am going to do my best moving forward to not bitch too much about people and to not talk shit. I am going to fail at that miserably, but I will try.

Here’s a quick rundown of some of the changes in life situation as of now and I will tell you all more as we continue.

I no longer have 2 jobs. I was getting ready to quit one anyway and just pushed that up a bit when the kids came. Carlos is an amazing stay-at-home dad (I will try to explain the dynamics happening in the house as we move forward, too. The kids don’t call him Dad, or me Mom, but as a description of his role, that’s what he is) but me being gone 13 hours a day and him home with the kids was too much. I just work at the one job now. It’s still “temporary,” may become permanent, not sure. I am always looking for something better, though I don’t have a lot of time for the search. If anyone has any ideas of a job for me, please let me know. Carlos’s mom and brother are with us again on a fairly permanent basis. IT’s great having help with the kids and chickens, but between the one bathroom and living on a well, it’s a bit tight. We’re also going to move at some point. We have a second cat and a dog now, thanks to Carlos’s brother and sister. All animals get along amazingly well. Kougle allows Thunder to live in her house and doesn’t even hiss at him all the time anymore. (A note on brothers. Carlos has a total of 3, 2 are his mom’s sons, one is his dad’s. The children and cat are from the one that does not live with us.) Chickens are all great minus one thing. Dora is a hen and everyone else is a rooster. OK, maybe 2 things. Dora is in the habit of going broody on a fairly regular basis now, which means she stops laying eggs because she thinks she should be incubating. She shouldn’t be because we ate them all. Our chickens are all pets most of the time, and we get 3-4 eggs a week when she gets over her broodiness. This was not the plan. Oh yeah, one more thing. They still live in the dining room. I had a friend on Facebook describe it as “broody little Dora and her rooster harem living in the house.” While an awesome name for a band, you can imagine that this situation is not ideal. It’s not permanent either, but it’s amazing how hard it is to do things (like build chicken coops) when there are children around.

I think that’s it for now. Obviously, judging by the size of this post, I really should be blogging again. And I will. Until next week, take care and I’m glad to be back!


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