Well, technically it’s Sunday now, but I haven’t gone to bed yet, so we’ll call it good.
For today’s blog, I want to tell the story of the newest member of our family, Lord Roflmao III. Yes, that’s right. Lord. Rofl (rhymes with waffle) Mao (like mow) the third. Were there 2 Lord Roflmaos before? Nope. That’s kinda the point. Roflmao like “rolling on the floor laughing my ass off” Roflmao. I’ve always thought it looked like a real word and for years I’ve planned to name a kitty Lord Roflmao III, and now I have. As great as the name is (sometimes I’m humble, sometimes not so much) the kitty himself is even cooler and I’m going to tell you his story today, such as it is so far.
Last Saturday was an interesting day. Carlos’s mom wanted to go to the church near our house and visit her new friend who works there. I don’t ow if she knew it was their food bank day or not, but it was and they gave her a box of food. They also informed her that they had their hot meal for anybody that night and she was welcome to come. When we got home and told the Carlos about that, he said we should go. It seemed like something to try, maybe get to know the community a bit, and Carlos’s mom’s new friends were so earnest about it, so we went.
Dinner was very nice, very filling. The people were super friendly and giving. We had a feeling that the universe was kinda taking care of us. Like if we put out there what we wanted or needed, we would get it. This feeling stayed with us for the rest of the day. We even spent a couple bucks on lotto tickets, just in case the universe’s giving mood extended that far. On our way home from buying the ticket, we came to a realization. There are two vacant houses on our block and we are going to have to move sometime fairly soon. One of our neighbors was hanging with his family out on their porch, and we thought we could ask them about the vacant house and not feel so weird about checking it out. Maybe, since it’s vacant, we could talk to whoever is in charge of managing it about renting. Since they aren’t getting anything for it now, maybe it wouldn’t be too high in rent, and we wouldn’t have to move our stuff too far. So we went to explore.
We started by chatting with the neighbors, who told us that the first house has been vacant for quite a while. They know the person who used to own it, and they think he lost it. They definitely think it’s possible we could rent it and think it’s a great idea. We went and looked and took pictures of the sign so we can call about it. The yard is a bit smaller than we want, but we still plan to look into it. After that we went to look at the house at the end of the street.
The house itself is very cute and if there’s any way we could move into it, we will. No, I have not made any calls yet as it has really been a hell of a week but I will. Big yard, shed, neighbors who don’t seem to be nosy or rude, it could work just right for us. But I don’t want to talk about the house right now. I want to talk about what we found in the yard.
When we came into the yard, there was a kitty there (surprised? Of course not. You saw that coming!) He was a thin kitty and very friendly. It was twilight time, which is not the best time of day for my vision but I could tell that he was thin and he was a tabby. Carlos looked at the house and I loved on the kitty. He talked to me a bit and rubbed and rubbed, loving the attention. An we were wrapping up, I asked Carlos if we could help him. He said sure we could, we could bring him some food and see if he’d eat it. We went to leave and I looked back. Kitty was following us very slowly and when I turned, he meowed. He was trying to come with us but couldn’t keep up and he asked me to wait, to not leave him behind. I was toast at that point. There was no way I could say no to that request. I went back and picked him up and carried him home.
Thin does not even begin to describe this kitty’s condition. He is so skinny. Skinnier than Thunder was when he came to us. Thinner than any cat I’ve ever seen. I don’t know how long he was out there by himself, but he has not had access to groceries in a while. I dubbed him Lord Roflmao III, with the second choice of Chastity if he was a girl (that was Carlos’s mom’s suggestion, and I like it.) We gave him some food, took a pic to post on Facebook in case he was missed by someone, apologized to Kougle, and went to bed.
Sunday morning the Seahawks lost. I don’t want to talk about it. After the game I took Rofl to the vet to get him checked out. I wanted to make sure he didn’t have anything the others could catch, and see what they thought of his condition. Turns out he is a male, neutered, between 12 and 14 years old probably. He weighed six pounds. So so so skinny. And there was bad news. His kidneys are not in great shape. We’re not sure how not great, but they are small and could be contributing to his condition. I considered having him put down that day but Carlos wanted to give him a chance to have some good time first, to see if we can help him turn it around. To try to undo what’s been done to him. To give him some happy before he goes. And I agree. He gets lots of rest and love, as much food as he wants and clean water. I give him subcutaneous fluids once a day to help get him over his dehydration. He’s been with us a week now and looks a lot better. Not what you’d call healthy, but better. My mom and Jay and Mindy met him today and he is such a lover. Very sweet and cuddly and wants some loving all the time. Carlos thinks that’s part of what he’s suffering from: lack of food, lack of water, lack of love and cuddles, so we’re helping him out there.
Carlos’s mom went back to stay with his brother, and she took Koga with her. Now our house consists of me and the Carlos, the six chickens-Harold the self-appointed leader, Cute the littler (probably) rooster, Nakedbutt, who is big but kinda picked on by Cute right now, Charlie who is also big but not bossy at all, Trilium, who is kinda goofy and follows Cute all the time and Dora, the littlest one who really just wants everyone to get along. Aside from that, there are now 3 cats: Kougle the queen, still pissed that there are other cats and would much rather exchange them both to get Koga back; Thunder, who I have dubbed the gateway cat because he’s the reason we feel less guilty about bringing in a third; and finally Lord Roflmao III, the sweet old man who probably won’t be here long but who is cherished while he’s here. We felt like we could ask the universe for help that day and receive it. We were right in that feeling, we just didn’t recognize where exactly we fit in. Rofl did the asking and we did the giving. He asked for help and we provided. And we didn’t leave him behind.


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