Finally cupcakes

Remember when I said a couple of weeks ago that I was going to blog about cupcakes? Well, now is the time! Yay cupcakes! My very good friend April is starting her own cupcake business! I am so excited for her and proud of her. It’s going to be so great and I can’t wait to watch her climb to stardom. Check out her website vintagehousewifescupcakes.com and hit her up. I know she makes good stuff and does wonderful work. And she has done some wonderful things for me.

April called me a couple of weeks ago and told me that I had inspired her to start her own business. That made a huge impact on me, hearing that. As wonderful and supportive and sweet as everyone has been and continue to be, to have someone think that what I do is working so well that they want to do it too is super inspirational to me. For whatever reason, I seem to spend a huge amount of time questioning myself, doubting myself and wondering what the hell I’m doing. Most of the time the answers to those questions are not super positive. Why am I doing this? I don’t know. How is it going? I’m not sure but my guess would be not great. How does everyone else think I’m doing? They are super nice but maybe deep down they think I’m totally lame. (That’s not entirely true. I know everyone is supportive and don’t think any of you secretly doubt me. I non-secretly doubt myself and then project it on others.) It’s a strange thing, living inside my head. I have all the belief in the world in everyone else, but I am positive at all times that I suck. All times. Not only do I suck, I am also not nice and not supportive and mean and nasty and bitchy. Bleh. I really worry about myself sometimes. Other times, I just ignore it. Bleh. But to have April want to do this too, to have her jump on a dream that she’s considered for a while but to think that because I am she can is so great. There have been moments when I wonder how I’m doing, but then I think of April being inspired by me and I think that I better keep it up!

I know that the tone of these blogs seems to be rather sad and down on myself. I am sorry for that. I seem to spend a good amount of time down and sad and questioning and things like that. I also seem to spend a lot of time emotional and upset. I think this is mostly because I am exhausted and stressed all the time.

Last weekend we went to the Lavender Festival! It was so fun and wonderful and beautiful. I wanted to stay forever. I saw a couple of houses for sale and maybe we can move there. I have looked into one of the houses and it is not too expensive. Maybe that will work out. 

I had to cancel lemonade this weekend. My kitchen is booked up as well as two other kitchens in the area and I don’t have anywhere to make it. This is going to be a weekend where I have to rest and recuperate and find some calm. I am having a real problem with this. I feel guilty and anxious and like I’m going to miss out on opportunities. I am anxious and jumpy. Somehow I am nervous about admitting to anyone that I am not going. No one is going to mad but I am so nervous about admitting it. I hope that the weekend off is going to help calm me down. 

Wow. This blog was written in fits and starts, and it makes little to no sense. Oh well. The important part is to say that I have inspired someone and she is working hard. Her being inspired has inspired me as well. There is no lemonade this weekend. I am going to try to rest since I have to. Maybe I will buy a house in Port Angeles.

Have a wonderful week lovelies! Talk to you soon!

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